Anger and Self Expression - Can You Sing a Cheerful Song?
Anger can be one of the hardest emotions to face, let alone express. While sadness often evokes sympathy, anger is stigmatized—seen as dangerous or uncivilized. There is a reason Freud has the book Civilization and Its Discontents - social norms dictate our relationship with emotions, particularly anger.
In many cultures, the societal narrative suppresses our ability to express it. Yet repression doesn’t make anger disappear; instead, it embeds itself in our bodies and influences our lives in unexpected ways. This article explores how repressed anger shapes us, the importance of the body-mind connection, and ways to release emotional blockages for more authentic living.
The Cost of Repressing Anger
We all struggle with expressing emotions in different ways. Some people hold their anger inside, their hearts weighed down by unspoken frustrations. Others externalize it, letting their egos take charge, fueled by their anger.
Repressed anger often acts as an invisible weight, muting self-expression. Even more challenging, many of us confuse “knowing” we’re angry with truly feeling and processing it.
Real emotional release requires experiencing anger—not just rationalizing it. Without this release, unresolved feelings linger, creating anxiety, disconnection, or even physical tension.
Why Reconciliation with Anger is Complex
Can we ever fully reconcile with anger? Likely not. But that doesn’t mean we’re powerless. Instead of erasing anger, we can transform it into something meaningful. Constructively channeled anger becomes a driving force for creativity, growth, and positive change.
However, this transformation isn’t purely a mental exercise. The body holds onto unresolved emotions in ways the mind cannot easily access. Muscle tension, posture, and even breath patterns can reflect suppressed anger. To let go, we must work with both the mind and body, acknowledging their deep connection.
The Role of Culture and Conditioning
Our ability to express anger is shaped by habitus, a sociological concept describing the ingrained habits, skills, and dispositions shaped by our environment. Cultural norms and personal upbringing often dictate whether we repress or externalize anger.
For instance, coming from a patriarchal society, I witnessed how such norms suppressed women’s ability to express their anger openly. Moving to another country helped me recognize the depth of these constraints. But I didn’t fully understand how deeply they shaped me until I began singing—a practice that required both technical skill and emotional vulnerability.
Trapped Feelings Become Muscle Memory
In my vocal studio, we usually work on a song for weeks. While I rarely sang off-key, my performance lacked spirit—it felt lifeless. My teacher pointed out that my natural tendency to “hold things together” in life was creeping into my singing. I was so focused on technique that I forgot to feel.
This realization surprised me. After all, I’d taken bold steps in life, why was my voice still shying away? The answer lay in the body: while my mind had processed past challenges, my body had not. My diaphragm, my breath, and my posture still carried years of repressed tension.
How to Release Emotional Blockages
True self-expression requires acknowledging and working through emotional blocks, particularly those held in the body. Here are practical steps to begin:
Practice Somatic Awareness: Pay attention to how emotions manifest physically. Do you clench your jaw when angry? Do your shoulders tense when stressed? Awareness is the first step toward release.
Incorporate Movement: Activities like yoga, dance, or surfing help release pent-up energy stored in the body. Focus on fluid, unrestricted movements.
Engage in Breathwork: Breathing deeply and intentionally can calm the nervous system and promote emotional release.
Use Creative Expression: Whether it’s singing, writing, or painting, channel your emotions into something creative. Let go of the need for perfection and focus on authentic expression.
Seek Support: Working with a mentor, coach or therapist informed in somatics can help you navigate the deeper layers of repressed anger and guide you in processing it healthily.
The Heart as the Center of Self-Expression
Self-expression isn’t just about mental clarity—it’s deeply rooted in emotional depth. Physically, the heart and diaphragm are interconnected, serving as a reminder that authentic expression starts from within. The diaphragm, a physical barrier separating the digestive system from the respiratory system, symbolizes this connection. We can’t breathe, hence think—in the way we should—without digesting our certain emotions. Releasing anger or sadness creates space for clarity and focus, allowing us to work and live at our fullest potential.
When my vocal teacher told me to “fake it till you make it,” I learned an important lesson. I didn’t need to feel cheerful to sing cheerfully. Instead, I could access joyful memories and let my body respond to those cues. Over time, this practice not only helped me uncover my singing voice but also led to a deeper connection with myself by releasing emotions through the act of singing.
Moving Forward: Embrace the Imperfect Journey
You don’t need to resolve all your anger to move forward, but you do need to acknowledge it. Like the Zen symbol of the ensō—a free-flowing circle that reflects the state of the mind in the present moment—your journey toward self-expression isn’t about perfection. It’s about embracing the wholeness of who you are, imperfections and all.
As Julia Cameron writes in The Artist’s Way, “Anger is meant to be acted upon. It is not meant to be acted out.” Channel your anger, acknowledge its message, and allow it to fuel your growth.
Your emotions, though challenging, are not your enemy. They’re guides, showing you the way back to yourself.