Stuck in Your Head? It Might Be Your Default Mode Network
The ego, your inner narrator, your sense of “me”, lives in a specific part of the brain known as the default mode network (DMN). This network is most active when your mind turns inward: when you're daydreaming, recalling memories, reflecting on yourself, or imagining the future. The Default Mode Network (DMN) is deeply involved in the mental processes that create our sense of 'me', our personal stories, self-reflection, and identity. In a way, it’s like the brain’s backstage crew for maintaining our sense of self.
In a healthy state, the DMN creates coherence, a stable sense of self over time. But when it’s disrupted, the ego can become overactive, fragmented, or stuck. Conditions like ADHD and childhood trauma offer two powerful examples of what happens when the DMN falls out of balance.
Whether or not you relate to either, understanding the DMN can help you make sense of your inner world and reshape the story you tell yourself.
The Default Mode Network and the Ego
When your mind isn’t focused on the outside world, like when you’re daydreaming, remembering the past, imagining the future, or thinking about yourself and your relationships a particular network in the brain becomes active. It’s called the default mode network, or DMN.
You can think of the DMN as the brain’s self-reflection system. It’s where your thoughts tend to go when you're not engaged in a task, when you’re simply “being.” This network plays a major role in how you form a sense of identity, reflect on experiences, and make meaning of your life.
In this context, it’s also where the ego takes shape, not in the sense of pride or arrogance, but as your inner narrator. The ego is the voice that helps you organize your experience over time. It tells you:
“This is who I am.”
“This is how others see me.”
“This is what I’ve been through and what might happen next.”
A balanced ego helps us stay connected to ourselves and others. It supports emotional regulation and self-awareness. But when the DMN isn’t functioning smoothly, either overactive or poorly integrated, it can throw the ego off balance.
That imbalance can show up in ways that are easy to recognize:
Persistent, looping thoughts
Trouble regulating emotions
Difficulty staying present
A sense of disconnection from yourself or your environment
The DMN is meant to shift fluidly, activating when we reflect inward, and quieting down when we need to focus outward. When that rhythm is disrupted, it can feel like your mind is either too loud or too absent, and the ego, in turn, becomes either overstimulated or stuck.
Understanding this relationship is key to making sense of patterns in thought, emotion, and behavior and it opens the door to more grounded, compassionate ways of working with ourselves.
When the DMN Is Disrupted: ADHD and Trauma
Two common disruptors of the DMN are ADHD and childhood trauma. Both conditions can alter how the DMN functions, and in turn, shape the ego.
ADHD: When the Ego Gets Noisy
ADHD is a form of neurodivergence that affects attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation. In many people with ADHD, the DMN doesn’t "turn off" properly when focus is needed. The result?
Difficulty staying present
Racing or scattered thoughts
Emotional overwhelm
In this case, the ego becomes too loud. The inner narrator keeps interrupting, pulling attention away from what’s actually happening. It's like trying to read a book while someone talks over your shoulder.
In ADHD, research suggests the DMN stays overly active even when focus is needed, creating that familiar feeling of drifting off mid-task. But it's not just the DMN, it’s also about how different brain networks (like those for focus and attention) struggle to shift gears efficiently.
Trauma: When the Ego Gets Stuck
Childhood trauma, especially neglect, emotional instability, or threat, can shape how the DMN develops in early life. Trauma can disrupt how flexible the DMN is. It can keep us locked in loops of fear, shame, or self-blame. It’s not just about thoughts, trauma can wire the brain to stay hyper-alert (involving areas like the amygdala) while also getting stuck in painful inner narratives (involving the DMN).
Instead of a fluid, balanced network, the DMN may become:
Under-connected (disjointed)
Overconnected to threat-detection systems
This creates an ego that’s stuck in defense: replaying past pain, anticipating danger, or blaming the self. It’s not that the person wants to live in fear, it’s that their brain wired that way to survive.
While these examples may seem like opposite expressions, they share a common thread:
ADHD might feel like: “I can’t turn off my thoughts.”
Trauma might feel like: “My thoughts keep turning on me.”
In both, the DMN, and therefore the ego, is out of balance. The narrator gets too loud or too fearful, and our ability to feel present, safe, and integrated gets compromised.
Can We Heal the Ego by Regulating the DMN?
Yes but it requires care and consistency. The DMN is part of what makes you you. The goal isn’t to shut it down. It’s to help it loosen up a bit. Some helpful ways would be:
Mindfulness (a gentle "shhh" to your inner monologue)
Movement & Somatics (bringing your story back into your body)
Therapy & Reframing (editing the old scripts)
Sometimes, medication (because brains are chemistry too)
The Bigger Picture: The Story You Tell Yourself
While the DMN plays a big role in how we see ourselves and tell our inner stories, it works alongside other networks that handle emotions, threat detection, and focus. It’s like one voice in the larger orchestra of your mind. In a way, the DMN is the ego’s playground. And like any playground, it can be noisy, chaotic, or full of life and connection, depending on how it’s managed. When we move, meditate, or ground ourselves in the body, we invite more fluidity between these brain networks. It’s not about shutting down the DMN, it’s about creating choice: the ability to step out of looping stories and come home to presence.
When the DMN is in balance, the ego softens. The inner voice becomes kinder. The story becomes more flexible. And that’s when healing begins.
So whether you’re navigating ADHD, healing from trauma, or simply curious about the voice inside your head, ask yourself:
What story is your ego telling you and is it still serving you?
Something in this resonated?
Let’s talk.
You can book a free 30-minute discovery call to connect and learn more about how mentoring with Higher Narrative works.
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