Roots and Routes: From Restless Minds to Warrior Strength

Sometimes our minds overcomplicate, overanalyze, and become entangled in unnecessary thoughts, desires, and attachments. A restless mind creates illusions and separation, becoming a root cause of suffering.

Eckhart Tolle likens this to a thief and the police being the same person—the chase never ends until we realize this truth. In other words, the problems we perceive are often creations of our own minds. This reminds us to stop overidentifying with our minds. After all, the mind is a tool, not a Being.

Restless Minds from a Sociological Perspective

The German sociologist Norbert Elias, in his work The Civilizing Process, explores how human behavior has evolved over time, focusing on self-restraint, emotional regulation, and the development of social norms in Western societies. He provides fascinating insights into how these norms take shape and influence even the smallest aspects of life, such as table manners.

Elias even devotes an entire section to the history of dining etiquette, showing how personal habits often reflect larger societal expectations.

For instance, a friend of mine was once criticized on a first date for using a fork and knife the American way instead of the European way. It’s a small example, but it highlights how deeply ingrained these norms can be, shaping how we act and even how we perceive ourselves. As societies became more interconnected, people grew more aware of others’ expectations, which required greater self-discipline—a trend Elias identified long before the era of social media.

Personal Power and the Manipura Chakra

Some conform to these expectations, while others rebel. Through the lens of the Manipura Chakra—the center of personal power and identity—ask yourself: Are you the bully who dominates, the people pleaser who avoids conflict, or the warrior who stands strong in balanced confidence? Are your actions driven by safety or fear?

Personal power must rest on solid ground. Physically, it corresponds to the solar plexus, our core of resilience. Like in boxing, life is less about fighting back and more about enduring with strength and composure. True power is internal, not reactive.

Choosing Battles Wisely

The civilizing process creates tension between the "civilized" self shaped by societal expectations and the "natural" self driven by innate desires. When this tension overwhelms, it can lead to alienation from oneself and others. Your inner child might struggle a lot.

While we can’t escape all social constraints, understanding social dynamics and norms helps us choose battles wisely. This awareness reduces the mental clutter that complicates thoughts and emotions.

Some restraints, however, act as guides rather than limitations. For example, Aparigraha, one of the yamas in yoga philosophy, teaches that letting go of unnecessary attachments frees both the mind and spirit. Whether the journey is physical, emotional, or spiritual, carry only what serves you.

Ego vs. Personal Power

The ego feeds on insecurities, attachments, and aversions. Acting from ego often means conforming to societal norms for validation or avoiding judgment. In contrast, personal power involves navigating these norms authentically, balancing interdependence with self-awareness.

We need ego for self-identity, goals, and boundaries, but it must be tempered with mindfulness and humility. Authentic power emerges when we understand this balance.

Practicing Compassionate Detachment

Power is also a highly gendered subject. As a Turkish woman running my own business, I’ve encountered mansplaining and dismissive attitudes more times than I’d like to admit. These experiences were quite disempowering, and it took a lot of reframing and reflection to process the anger and frustration they caused.

Through this journey, I discovered the importance of compassionate detachment: the ability to empathize with others without taking on their struggles as my own. Letting go of what isn’t ours to carry creates the space to focus on our own growth and direction.

Challenging What’s Acceptable

Whether you are a man or woman reading this, I encourage you to reflect on how the women in your life were treated growing up and consider the women around you now.

How many people around you—man or woman—truly embody authentic power? This kind of power isn’t tied to status or achievements but comes from self-awareness and resilience. Often, what needs to be challenged isn’t the individual but the social image they feel pressured to uphold.

This year, I found myself telling a friend; "I’ve learned so much from you, not just through our discussions but by who you are." You never know whom you inspire by living authentically. Fitting into the wrong environments not only stifles your growth but also denies others the chance to break free.

Stepping into Personal Power

Stepping into personal power means knowing when to conform, when to challenge, and when to release what no longer serves you. It’s not about abandoning commitments or changing your life entirely but aligning with what uplifts and empowers you.