Roots and Routes: Seeking Feminine Wisdom
In a few years, I will turn 40. With age, wisdom is expected to follow. However, my journey toward understanding began much earlier. As a parentified child, I took on responsibilities far beyond my years. I was often praised for my maturity, yet no one saw the weight I carried within. People mistook it for intelligence, but in truth, I had been pushed into “wisdom” before my time.
The Illusion of Wisdom in Business
My workaholic past hit me with a tough realization: wisdom and knowledge are not the same, and you won’t find wisdom just by climbing the business ladder. It sounds obvious, yet it’s so easy to forget how much abstract thinking shapes real-world outcomes. Without realizing it, I believed that success in business would somehow make me wiser. It definitely made me sharper, more skilled, but it didn’t bring the personal fulfilment I was looking for. I had been searching in the wrong place all along.
Is Wisdom a Male Trait?
Culturally, we tend to associate wisdom with masculinity. Without even realizing it, I had internalized this idea too, I saw wisdom as something that belonged more to men than women. But my own roots tell a different story. I was born in Anatolia (Anadolu), a name that literally means “full of mothers.” Long before modern times, this land revered the divine feminine. Funnily enough, I only started paying attention to this history because a Portuguese friend visiting Ankara was captivated by the Museum of Anatolian Civilizations. His excitement made me take a second look at something I had overlooked for years.
Lately, I’ve realized that my childhood search for wisdom wasn’t really about wisdom at all, it was about survival. I was trying to keep myself safe in a world that felt unpredictable. Letting go of that need for control and learning to trust life again has been a journey, one filled with unlearning and rewiring deeply ingrained beliefs.
Is Wisdom a Female Trait?
I cannot claim to have the authority to declare wisdom inherently male or female. However, the question is worth asking. We refer to nature as "Mother," and I believe in the wisdom of nature. Perhaps the real question is not whether wisdom is male or female, but rather: What can we learn from embracing femininity, regardless of gender? Daoist philosophy suggests that true happiness comes from living in harmony with nature, rather than rigidly following either Eastern or Western ideals. Could embracing femininity, its fluidity, receptivity, and creation, be a key to wisdom?
Crowns and Queens
"In the series The Crown, the Queen, at the beginning of her reign, remarks: 'One who wears the crown, bears the crown.' This phrase speaks to the weight of responsibility that comes with power. Similarly, the crown chakra (Sahasrara), associated with enlightenment, higher wisdom, and divine connection, symbolizes the responsibility of carrying deep knowledge and integrating it into life. Wisdom is not merely an accumulation of information; it is the ability to embody understanding and balance. Whether we like it or not, we all wear a crown: one that comes with its own set of responsibilities.
But how do we truly accumulate wisdom? Reading, seeing, hearing, and discussing give us information, but does information or knowledge alone lead to a better life?
The British monarchy historically derived power from the Church. This raises another question: How do we categorize belief and belief systems? If wisdom is linked to belief, then personal and cultural beliefs shape how we embody our existence. Perhaps, just as the crown chakra connects us to a higher sense of self, embracing different perspectives on wisdom (including those shaped by gender and history) can lead to a more profound understanding of our place in the world.
Exploring Femininity’s Role in Everyday Life Through Nature’s Perspective
Our beliefs about femininity influence how we see ourselves, interact with others, and engage with the world regardless of gender. While traditionally associated with women, femininity exists within everyone, shaping how we understand emotions, intuition, and connection. Just like nature itself, femininity is a force of nurturing, creation, destruction, and renewal. Whether we embrace, reject, or redefine it, our perception of femininity affects our relationships, self-perception, and daily actions. For men, it can shape how they relate to vulnerability and care; for women, it can define their relationship with strength and leadership. Recognizing this balance allows for a more holistic understanding of both ourselves and the world around us.
Femininity as Nurturing (The Gentle Flow of Water)
Belief: Seeing femininity as inherently nurturing means valuing care, patience, and emotional connection in daily life.
Everyday Impact:
Prioritizing emotional intelligence and acting as caregivers in relationships.
Being drawn to healing professions or artistic, compassionate roles.
Embracing slower, mindful living, valuing intuition over logic.
🌊 Like a river that nourishes the land, nurturing femininity brings life to those around us.
Femininity as Wild and Untamed (The Fierce Storm & Fire)
Belief: Seeing femininity as wild and powerful aligns with independence, passion, and destruction as a form of rebirth.
Everyday Impact:
Rebelling against societal norms, refusing to be confined by traditional gender roles.
Expressing through bold creativity, pushing boundaries in art, fashion, or leadership.
Burning away what no longer serves us, making drastic life changes when necessary.
🔥 Like wildfire clearing the forest for new growth, wild femininity is about breaking and rebuilding.
Femininity as Creation (The Fertile Earth)
Belief: If femininity is seen as creative and generative, it is associated with the ability to birth new ideas, nurture projects, or bring beauty into the world.
Everyday Impact:
Embracing motherhood (literal or metaphorical), nurturing children, businesses, or art.
Feeling a strong connection to nature, engaging in gardening, herbalism, or eco-conscious living.
Valuing cycles and seasons, recognizing that everything has its time for birth, growth, and renewal.
🌱 Like the earth that continuously gives life, creation-based femininity thrives in building and sustaining.
Femininity as Receptivity & Intuition (The Moon & the Tides)
Belief: Associating femininity with intuitive wisdom and deep receptivity means living in harmony with cycles, emotions, and spiritual insights.
Everyday Impact:
Feeling deeply in tune with moon phases, astrology, or natural rhythms.
Embracing inner stillness, meditation, or dreamwork to connect to deeper truths.
Allowing emotions to flow naturally, honoring them as wisdom rather than suppressing them.
🌙 Like the moon guiding the tides, intuitive femininity leads through quiet wisdom rather than force.
Femininity as Balance (The Changing Seasons)
Belief: Viewing femininity as a balance of all forces (nurturing yet powerful, receptive yet creative) means embracing complexity and fluidity.
Everyday Impact:
Rejecting strict labels and seeing femininity as a dynamic energy that shifts with time.
Integrating strength and softness, choosing when to lead and when to surrender.
Embracing change, allowing ourselves to grow, transform, and adapt as needed.
🌀 Like the seasons shifting from spring to winter, balanced femininity flows with the cycles of life, never static.
A Personal Reflection on Wisdom
Rather than defining wisdom in absolute terms, perhaps it is more meaningful to see it as an evolving journey. One that changes with experience, introspection, and connection with nature. Just as the elements of earth, water, fire, and air interact in a delicate balance, wisdom may arise from embracing the different aspects of ourselves. Whether through nurturing, creation, intuition, or transformation, wisdom is not a fixed trait but a continuous process of learning and unlearning.
Maybe wisdom isn’t about having all the answers, but about staying open to the questions and trusting that the right answers will reveal themselves when we’re ready.